BeyondGenius.com

I’ve been traveling today in Chicago, the city of brotherly love, the windy city, blah, blah, blah. I’ve also been listening all day about the woes of the Chicago Cubs and the pathetic season that they’ve been having.  Woe is me; the curse is on, blah, blah, blah.  Even worse, I’ve been listening about the Chicago White Sox, how great they are, about poor Ozzie and his troubles, blah, blah, arrrrgh!  I now know there is no sympathetic God as he would have struck me down and put me out of my misery while I was listening to this banal tripe.

As far as I’m concerned, the only baseball team worthy of discussion is the Boston Red Sox.  Furthermore, the only things really worth discussing about the Red Sox have something to do with the New York Yankees.  Beating the Yankees is usually the main topic, but worrying about the Yankees and dumping on the Yankees follow closely behind. This brings me to today’s revelation.  I was driving in a car listening about the Cub’s latest woes (and wondering if I jumped out at highway speeds would I be killed instantly or simply paralyzed) when suddenly a brilliant light reflected off a gleaming high rise building and blinded me just temporarily.  As my sight began to recover, instead of the usual black spots before my eyes, I had the image of Johnny Damon, now New York Yankees centerfielder, former Boston Red Sox centerfielder. 

I tried to purge this painful image and the corresponding memories from my brain amid the monotonous dribble about Greg Maddux’s season, but could not. Instead of clearing my thoughts, I was suddenly gripped by a realization: No longer did any Red Sox fan have to concern themselves about the dreaded New York Yankees.  We had beaten the curse of the Bambino and been delivered by Damon’s bane.

The New York Yankees have a new problem (aside from being 2.5 games behind the Red Sox at this point).   The Yankees are cursed with never winning another World Series until they trade Johnny Damon back to the Boston Red Sox.  This is Damon’s Bane. Brilliant. Simple. You heard it here first.  Note, that this is a two part curse, trade and to the Red Sox.  Both conditions have to be met.  Trade him to the Mets and you still never win.  It means good things for the Red Sox Nation for a very, very long time, unless the Dark Lord realizes this mistake, and remedies the situation quickly. 

Most Boston fans loved Johnny Damon.  We loved his aggressive hitting style, we loved the hair and how he melted into the relaxed and winning nature of the 2004 World Champion team.  We winced as he struggled through the AL playoffs with the Yankees ahead 3-0, and we roared as he led a comeback unlike anything ever seen in the history of baseball.  Yes, that was a great year, but I digress. 

We believed Johnny when he said that he would not leave Boston, we believed him when he said that he would play for Boston even for less money, and we believed him when he said that he wouldn’t play for any other team. We believed him until he signed with the Yankees.  Boston was a city in mourning.  It was the ultimate slap in the face, the ultimate disgrace.  He didn’t just go to another team, he went to the Yankees.  

We know that it wasn’t all his fault, we know that the Theo thing screwed it up, but in Boston, when you give your word, you live by it, and when you don’t you have to live with the consequences. In this case the consequences manifest as Damon’s bane.  The Yankees can trade for better pitching, or continue to buy additional talent, but it will always be in vain.  They are destined to be a bridesmaid and not the bride until, and only until, they return Johnny to his rightful home. 

As the full impact of this revelation settled over me, I sat back in the seat, smiled a bit, and asked how long he thought Dusty Baker would survive.